Do you See me?

March 11, 2019

Women's  History Month is here. I have been thinking about friends I have known and thought I would reflect on some of them. Today I will be reflecting on a man who had been in my life for close to 6 years. Now how does this have anything to do with WOMEN'S HISTORY.  I will explain, driving home yesterday down the back country roads from Albany I found myself thinking about you. How me met. Hi I am Jim I have been watching you for a while could you paint me a picture. Of course oh how good you smelled all sweaty, how you made me laugh and also how you made me cry. I remember the first time I meet the other man the one who told me I was beautiful I was to you but I did not need to make you mad. You did not want to hurt me but I made you so angry. How much you missed me when I was away from you yet your way of showing me you loved me was to leave me black and blue on the floor. The next day you brought me flowers to tell me how sorry you were and in the same breath you scared me so bad I wanted to scream someone help me.  I had my friends who sat next to me at work and at church and they did not ever see me. They said they did but not at all. If they had listen they would have heard me but they didn't. I painted pictures of places I wanted to escape too. I painted pictures of memories of  places where I had been happy. I just longed for you to hold me and to tell me you could take the pain away. Yet you did not see me. The night you put the gun to my head and pull the trigger I knew it was over I closed my eyes and held my breath finally I would be gone from a world who did not see me. You did not know I found a friend who seen me, who was praying for me who stood by me and yes heard the gun go off and just knew I was gone. I am thankful for my friend/my sister in Christ Reba Reed who prayed with me. I wanted to go back to the old life to find that next person to hold on too and she reminded me I had that person He had never left me His name was Jesus and He still just loved me as I was and all He wanted to do was to hold in His arms to hear my Heart beat and remind me that I was HIS.. There are so many hurting people out there. We need to be those friends who stand in the gap for each other.  Friends so many find themselves where I was and so many long to be seen, heard, touched and loved. We have an inner strength to love and to be that person to help some escape from their nightmares. To be a beacon for them to draw too. You are loved, treasured, and above all you are seen by the father. In a child face you see innocence you see dreams of being whatever they want to be. We still have that inner child and that person is saying  Do you See me?  what is you answer.

 

 

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